SCÈNE 08. Jon Paul Buchmeyer, Storyteller, Brand Marketing Executive & Advocate
Coming into your own through motley friends and mismatched furniture.
Welcome to the eighth edition of Mise-En-Scène!
People ask what I visualize when I think about success. I could offer an existential answer or ten, but here’s a palpable one: Hosting a small party in my home, amid all my strange, cherished objects. The sounds of Burt Bacharach and The 5th Dimension occasionally cut through lively conversation. My guests wear clothes they know they photograph beautifully in; they feel safe enough to voice unpopular opinions deep into the night. We help ourselves to any cocktail we desire, thanks to my well-stocked top shelf, and tuck into dinner, a hearty roast chicken served atop a gradient of vegetables. For dessert, I’ve commissioned an ornate throwback we haven’t seen in the wild for some time (a Baked Alaska, sliced to reveal Neapolitan layers). In some of my visions, there’s even a piano player, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
In short, success, for me, looks like a party in Mary Richards’s apartment on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, a shaggy, Space Age-y abode that’s lived rent-free in my mind since I first encountered our girl and her lit-up smile during Nick at Nite binges in elementary school. Mary made living in Minneapolis look fun and glamorous; her mischief is oft-misremembered by younger generations as taking place in Manhattan. (It’s me, I’m “younger generations.”) Co-created by James L. Brooks and Allan Burns, The Mary Tyler Moore Show championed its writers’ room of fresh, capital-F feminist voices like Treva Silverman and Susan Silver, and imprinted on many a woman—and the occasional gay man—who’d go on to change culture. Among Mary’s children: Oprah Winfrey, Reese Witherspoon, Michelle Obama, Sarah Jessica Parker, Quinta Brunson, Katie Couric, Lenas Dunham and Waithe, and the Midwest’s own Andy Cohen.
A fixation with Mary’s apartment is just one thing I share in common with this edition’s Mise-En-Scène curator, Jon Paul Buchmeyer (@jpbuchmeyer). For decades, Jon Paul has been a storyteller working across a variety of mediums, from his madcap indie film GayTV: The Movie (spot the Mary Tyler Moore Show Easter egg!) to his winsome memoir Alphabet City—which reads like That Girl by way of Looking—with stints in magazines along the way. In addition to being an executive at an award-winning brand marketing firm—he’s really made it after all!—Jon Paul is dedicated to helping environmental organizations like the Natural Areas Conservancy tell impactful stories of their work as he completes a masters degree in environmental leadership, justice and communication at SUNY-ESF.
How did Mary (Richards and Tyler Moore) spur Jon Paul to live his dream and, I’ll add, bag a beautiful home to boot? Walk with us1.
“SAY, THIS IS SUCH A NICE APARTMENT”: POLYMATH AND STORYTELLER JON PAUL BUCHMEYER ON THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW, 1970-1977
JON PAUL ON HOW A TV GUIDE LED HIM TO MARY AND HER QUINTESSENTIAL STUDIO APARTMENT:
My father used television as a way to instill morals and values. Growing up in the ‘70s, every Sunday when the TV guide insert came out in the paper (yes, print!), my father went through it with a highlighter–my cue as to what TV show lessons were on tap for that week. He set the agenda–and dial–with favorites like Barney Miller; Welcome Back, Kotter; Soap; and, my enduring role model, Mary Tyler Moore. The moment I watched the very first episode when Mary battled her upstairs neighbor Rhoda for that fabulous apartment, my life changed.
JON PAUL ON LIVING OUT HIS “GAY BOY VERSION” OF THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW:
As a seven-year-old growing up in Dallas, I spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about and learning from Mary Richards and Mary Tyler Moore. Week after week, year after year, Mary and her friends and co-workers in the WJM-TV newsroom formed the foundation of my perspective on life. Mary taught me that things work out in the end–just remember to have on a cute outfit when they do. She became my beacon–great job, supportive friends, and an independent, adventurous spirit that led her to strike out on her own in a new city.
Although I had always wanted to move to New York City, for various reasons I just could never seem to make it happen. But at 27, my life was in shambles–a bad breakup, my indie film was struggling to find distribution, and I felt like a failure. Talking with a dear friend who was a therapist, I remembered that basically the same had been true for Mary. She left behind a jilted fiancé, started fresh in a new town, and survived by discovering the bright side of almost any situation. So I made the leap and told myself I was finally starring in the gay boy version of The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Since that time, I have basically always interpreted my life through the lens of a sitcom.
JON PAUL ON GETTING COMFY WITH MARY IN HER ‘70s SOPHISTICATE APARTMENT:
My first months in New York were really dreary–it rained non-stop, the taxes were shrinking my already measly paycheck. Since I couldn’t afford going out, I would go to the Museum of Television & Radio [Nat’s note: Now called The Paley Center] on West 52nd Street where you could watch any archived show in television history for free. Clearly, this was before DVRs or streaming. The librarian got to know me really well and would cue up the first episode of Mary Tyler Moore as soon as she saw me. Then I would sink into a little cubby and soothe myself with the cool ‘70s aesthetic of Mary’s apartment.
What is so magical about the show is that Mary Richards was groundbreaking; we had never seen anything like her. This independent woman—she paved the way for Sex and the City, Girls, and so much of our modern comedies.
On top of that, the set decoration was genius in telling us a story about Mary. Everything in that apartment was intentional. The set decorator Raymond Boltz really nailed a high-low aesthetic [favored by] a single woman that today we would likely call “boho-chic.” He anchored the room with a brown velvet sofa bed and French armoire, but spiced it up with a yellow wicker chair, and that iconic letter “M” hanging on the wall, which we later found out Mary salvaged from a demolished building. To this day, my decorating style is grounded in that mid-century and ‘70s modern influence with accents from my travels and some NYC street finds.
JON PAUL ON INTERPRETING THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW AS AN IMMIGRANT STORY:
Mary has always been hailed as having an early feminist message. Now, I think about Mary as telling an immigrant story: Moving somewhere, entering a strange world, scrambling to build a life, hustling to establish friends and a found family, all while never losing sight of where she came from. She was laying claim to a space that had never welcomed people like her before. For a queer kid in Texas who felt like I just never quite fit in, that was a powerful message of hope. Those are the kind of stories that still resonate with me.
JON PAUL BUCHMEYER RECOMMENDS
Love is all around, and so, in Jon Paul’s case, is taste. Up next, more of his cultural favorites. (If you’re new here: This section is affiliate link-free!)
Julio Torres, writer, filmmaker and comedian.
Jon Paul says: If Mary’s immigrant experience was bright and shiny, Julio Torres’s world is a little darker but no less magical and quirky in his recent film Problemista (2024). The opening shot of NYC streets was on the mark in a hilarious way. The whole film is an entry into a wacky world that draws back the curtain on the immigrant experience in America. Sign me up for anything Julio-related, especially with Tilda Swinton as his muse. He’s not just reclaiming spaces, but refashioning them. He’s also incredibly adorable.Yotam Ottolenghi, chef, restaurateur and food writer.
Jon Paul says: Or pretty much just Ottolenghi, the Israeli-born chef who found success in London. Since I’m married to a chef-turned-dietician who worked in the kitchens of Per Se and Le Bernardin, I have seen first hand just how unwelcoming the food world has been to queer folks. That’s why I will digest every Ottolenghi morsel—he’s really our only truly gay global culinary superstar leading a restaurant conglomerate and publishing best-selling cookbooks. He does it all by putting vegetables front and center. Reason enough to travel to London. (Nat’s note: Anytime anyone mentions to me that they’re traveling to London, I will bully them into a reservation at the Ottolenghi establishment ROVI until they come close to blocking my number. They always thank me after their meal there, though.)
Michael R. Jackson, playwright, composer and lyricist.
Jon Paul says: This Pulitzer Prize recipient and Tony Award winner doesn’t just reclaim spaces, he bursts into them in a way you simply can’t ignore. A Strange Loop was his commercial breakthrough on Broadway, but his Off-Broadway shows speak to me in unexpected ways. His recent White Girl in Danger was set in the world of daytime soap operas, something I too was obsessed with growing up. His musical adaptation of the indie film Teeth is quite something. You can’t look away. I wouldn’t dream of spoiling it for anyone.Beyoncé’s Cowboy Carter.
Jon Paul says: What else is there to say, really? Beyoncé is perhaps our most original, intentional and compelling artist today. Growing up in Texas, I would listen and sing Dolly and Loretta behind closed doors, because country music never felt like a particularly safe space for me. Beyoncé has broken open the country music genre doors for all of us. Just don’t make me choose my favorite. (Nat’s note: As for me… Much like Kevin Costner and Beyoncé’s own Julius, I’m a “Bodyguard”!)Tommy Orange, novelist and writer.
Jon Paul says: A finalist for the Pulitzer for his debut novel There There, Tommy Orange takes us into the world and lived experience of Native Americans navigating modern life, often in urban settings like Oakland. His new book Wandering Stars is almost epic in scope, and reminds me of some of the works by Louise Erdrich, another Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Native American heritage whose work I devour the moment it is published.
You can stream all seven seasons of The Mary Tyler Moore Show on Hulu. (For a go-to classic episode, I recommend “Chuckles Bites the Dust,” uploaded in its entirety on YouTube.) For more on the woman behind Mary Richards, check out the recent documentary Being Mary Tyler Moore (2023) on Max.
Special thanks to our guest curator, Jon Paul Buchmeyer. Connect with Jon Paul on Instagram at @jpbuchmeyer and purchase his book Alphabet City to read about his “so-called sitcom life.” Gay misadventures in ‘90s/early aughts-era New York. Need I go further?
Thank you, as always, for being here. Connect with me on Instagram (@natisagee and/or @yourmiseenscene) if there’s something—or someone—you want to see in future editions of this newsletter.
See you back here real soon!
Answers have been lightly edited for clarity.
Love this perspective on MTM! I never really thought about how mismatched the furniture was but it becomes painfully obvious now!